It's not long till that day. But still, I'm not yet ready.
I don't know why , but these few days I've the feeling that she already have someone. And that will be the worst scenario I mentioned earlier. I won't say name, but I have the same feeling when I saw her with the A level guy last year. I really hope that it does not happen. I don't want drama but that means that I can't say much in the end. Things will come to end very fast if that happens.
What can I do? Sit down and pray? So that things will turn out well?
No. I have been praying for things to happen. Even though it's not 100% granted, I'll be like some greedy mongrel if I kept on begging for things by praying to god.
What can be done now? Nothing. Absolutely.
Nothing...there's something.
I'm not gonna take that day as a bad day or what so ever negative day. I'll just say it's the day I confess my feeling. The day that I'll if I should be having her as the close one or nothing. The day that I should end my feelings if I have too.
If things don't turn out well, I'll just walk away towards the sunset. But it'll be at night time, so I'll be walking towards the moon at the horizon.But moon never appear half at the horizon.... It may take time for her to answer, maybe a day or two? three or seven? nine or eleven? no matter I'll just be like any other people who got rejected. Be awkward and blah. I'll only be awkward if rejection takes place.
.......
I think I'll go out with her this Saturday if anything bad were to happen. Enjoy that day as the last day of going out and have fun with her.
I've been rejected twice and always back to her as a close friend at the very next day. And of course, feelings doesn't go away if I do that again. So, if you wonder why (due to lost track in this blog or etc.) that's the reason why I cannot be her friend again if rejection happens. Of course there are more, if you forgot, re-read this damn blog from the beginning.
I postpone it to maybe either saturday or sunday night, for a better cause.
No. Next Friday.
No. Next Friday.
Sigh