I have decided to have it next friday if possible. It's gonna be very soon now. Some how I felt... not ready yet. Not ready to lost someone who've been my friend for 5 years. The first person to have my birthday celebrated, always give me present at my birthday and so on....
It's not like I want to do this. It's just that, I've got to forget about these thing and go on with the normal life that I used to have.
Most of my post, I have been describing that day as 'Lost my closest friend day', or say bad things about myself, you, her or others. One fact about me when posting something here is that, Im always in bad mood and that makes me think negatively.
And this post's special, since I'm currently having a neutral mood. So, I won't be saying negative things much now.
Let's us see 'that day' matter from the other side. If I can get her, I don't think I'll be as stress as now. My believe in her makes me feel better. But if things turn out bad, I'll end up hating her, then brake up.If we are to break up with stupid cause or reason, I won't like her ,won't talk to her anymore, start avoiding her, which is the same result if she rejects me.
But, if we brake up due to a reasonable cause, AND if I lost my feeling towards her at that time, I won't avoid or hate her, instead, have the normal life we use to have, which is just Close Friend.
So here's a simple 'diagram' about how it will be like.
Reject -----> Hate -----> Avoid -----> No chance of becoming close friend again.
/ ^
/ |
Confess Unreasonable break up
\ ^
\ |
Accept ----> Good/Bad times ----> Happy ending?
\
\
Reasonable break up ----> Chance of becoming close friend again.
If (in Reasonable break up situation) anything happens, I won't go awkward, that's my promise.
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