Now I'm back to my hometown. It's quiet here since my little brother and mom is still in Malaysia. I felt much better for a while now, cause no one disturb and orders me around. Yet it feels empty, since if I used to be yelled at, but now is quiet. No matter, since soon they are coming back here.
It's raining when I reach here in my hometown. At the same time, my phone was playing A-team by Ed Sheeran. It reminds me last year.
It was a raining day in Bali. Me,older brother, cousins, uncles and aunties were going up the mountain by car to see the scenery there. Can't remember what mountain was it though. While listening to this song, I stared outside the window, thinking about the answer I might get from someone I confessed to.The scenery I saw at that time was a grass field with trees covering the horizon. It is similar what I see one the way back home from airport. Pretty nostalgic, but of course it is not a pleasant. Cause after that, the feelings I have that time, came back again. No the feeling of liking that person, but the suffer I had that time.
When I reached home, I began to think again, that I was suffering here last year. Well of course I'm still suffering now, but not as bad as last year. I went to my bedroom. when I saw my bed, again I began to start thinking. 'I can't well on this bed last year, hopefully things won't be the same'. Of course I can't expect that to happen, since I still have my 'slightly same' problem with me.
After dinner, I went to the harbor. 'I used to like fishing', it suddenly popped out in my head. and of course it linked to the reason my I stop. Well of course, the reason is always the same. I faced to the east, liked what I did last year, looking at the direction where 'she' could be.I quickly looked to another direction, thinking that I was doing something stupid. 'You changed me a lot', that's the next thing that pops out in my mind.
3 days later, which is today. When I about to think about her again, my mind automatically rejects it. Seems like, I don't want to think about her now, this is holiday, I must enjoy myself. I think I'll just forget about her now. But we're still texting together now. I think I should stop now. Let myself be away from you.
I'll rest for a while from all of this event that have changed my way of thinking. Well of course I can't forget about her 100%. But it will be alright, I pretty get used to this hard sleep anyway. All I need is just a good bed. My bed here's better than the bed in Malaysia.I hope I can sleep better this time.
So I'll just let myself rest. For Now.
Good Night.