soon I'll not see you for a very long time.
it'll be good for me as I can forget you.
but will that be unfair to you then?
who cares, my life, my decision.
i don't know...
i hope this coming holiday will not be bad like the previous year....
where i can't sleep fast any longer and get sickness from it.
don't know how's my liver now...hopefully gets better.
you have a boyfriend~....
the last time i had a girl friend was 3 years ago.
hermm...
just starts to wonder..
won't it be better if we get together and broke up like what happened to you and the a level guy?..
i won't be liking you anymore and all of my sickness may heal too..
i remembered i said before that if we get together, i'll still be your friend even though we break up...and you don't even want to think about it.
im your close friend that's your reason, but do you know that you are holding my feeling inside? the reason of your rejection was invalid in my head, that's why i still like you till now.
SO this is what can be done, another rejection means the friendship between us will be erased.
it's not like i want to put you into a very hard dilemma but, i really have to stop liking you already. im sick of this, tired.....
i can't think any other way... i know that you won't accept me as yours, i know and i acknowledge it deep into myself. i don't need to be told, as i knew that i'll never be able to make you like me and you'll never like me. even though it makes me feel down sometimes, it's good that i can acknowledge the reality.
if you were to reject and let me go just like that... doesn't mean that friendship does not even exist between us in the first place? since you are letting me go just like that?
i believe i won't be your friend anymore if that were to happen, no longer close friend. since i have to avoid getting to close with you and start liking you again, and the story repeats itself again.
you said that you don't want to lost me as your close friend... but if you reject me, that means that you just... lost me....just like that...
you said nicely infront of me that you don't want to lost me as you close friend, but in the end.... just like letting an bird away...fly... and will never come back..
ofcourse i would prefer to get together with you ,break up and have to that happen rather than you just release me out of your friend list like that
the reason why i mention about i won't be your friend anymore is.. because that ever happens to me before.
i was a close friend of this girl (i liked her that time also). one day she knew i liked her and... she just starts to ignore me(i think she feels awkward) .. from there i ignored her too, thinking when the situation gets better, i'll be back as a close friend of hers, back to normal.
but sadly no. both of us get used to ignore each other and even though every thing is back to normal, we still ignore each other.
that should apply if me and you were to start avoid each other.
THE only thing about this is. should i make another confession?
it's the only way out right? out of this misery of liking you for 2 years?
but there's no perfect time now...
and i kindda... lazy to confess my feelings now.
and next year i'll....
you know everything already.
4-5 times we meet and i'll not be seeing you for long time.
well, i just gotta ignore about your boyfriend and smile at you as much as i can.
Sorry for my selfishness. I'm not a good friend of yours.... really sorry about that.