been a while i haven't think about this but, it just came in.
in the whole family tree, i mean the big one, includes my uncles, grandma, and so on~ im the only one that is... so called different.
others (cousins) seems to be more... mannered? or...
don't know the word....
just say that they don't do the stuff or things I do, even my older brother.
my parent ever told me that my aunties always avoid their son or daughters (my cousins and nephews and others) not to be close with me.
feels like.... you'll understand if you apply this concept into yourself and imagine it.
well, i must admit that i never do good things, up till now.
the event occurred this year already changed my characteristic into worst.
im don't have the face to go back and see them now.
ofcourse i'll prove them that im someone that doesn't have to be avoid.
but.... that takes a long time..
none of my cousins i know drinks alcohol.
well im not a heavy drinker (once every few months) but still, everyone has halo on them, but not me.
depress as i am, i still have larger thing to solve. of course im still refering to the same event.but i don't know what to do anymore.
No matter how bad they look at me, no matter no one, even my friends look up at me. There's still a reason why out of close to infinite lifes born in this observable universe and further, and not to mention time of birth, im living now.