Part 1: Foolish Journey
On it, type it, send it, wait it, time it, read it, check- Confess it
Monday 10 February 2014
-Final-
I guess I have to fix some parts of me. See all the thing I go through this far.... Pretty heavy. Things will not be the same for how I see things now. Just a few hours ago I felt I'm in stuck and not free. And now, I feel right now is just... a new chapter. I manage to go this through till the end without having any physical cuts.
There's No String on me now.
Though I'm still not happy with the ending.... But what to do? What is fated is fated. Right now... I need something. Something that can make things better in terms of the same problem in future.
What I need... is Change..a New Dawn.
-Final-
-0.9 Final-
The whole entire day she seems to be... quiet infront of me? There's an explanation in my head about this.
Basically she's already with that guy without thinking about my options,. or maybe she did. And now, she doesn't know what to say infront of me. Perhaps she just want to keep this as a secret infront of me so that I may keep on thinking that she's not with that person yet? and our friendship won't dissappear? well.. I'll find evidence about it.
Perhaps she will tell me if start messaging with her again? I'll talk about school things, and in the end she might say something like 'btw, just to tell you, I chose him already." or something else similar to that. I hope it does not happen.
-0.9 Final-
Sunday 9 February 2014
-0.898 Final-
Experience alone again. I totally hate it. But it's what the current situation is. What can I do?
I think sooner later she might say either something negative or nothing at all.
-0.898 Final-
-0.8 Final-
Just wait till she see my face tomorrow, and that will be the moment she'll start thinking again. She should know.... That time is short now.
What if tomorrow she comes to me and says 'sorry'? Or any others like 'I tried to think for the best,and I think he's better than you',' he confessed and I accepted','Since you didn't give me much option, sorry I'll have to choose him' or any other negative responds....
Hopefully nothing bad happens.
-0.8 Final-
Saturday 8 February 2014
-Wow-Not Final-
Now now don't get me wrong, it's not like I was thinking about 'that'.. I was just thinking., it's like yesterday I was still 10 years old, or the age of people that does not think of marriage at all. Never know that it can be so soon. Time indeed flies. Never know I have to face such 'event' very soon.
The 'event' Im refering is not about marriage. But it's the battle where I must win someone, or else if the other person wins, and if they can stand together until their marriage, that's the point where I'll never have the chance anymore. Since that person will be with her true love.
Now come back to this person. I don't think of marriage yet, since it's still in far future.But I really have to win her soon, so that in future i won't regret.
She told me that, ALMOST everyday she hangs out with that guy. Today she didn't attend a friend's party. Perhaps that guy invited her to go somewhere again? And since she's driven away to that guy and now she don't even care about us, friends anymore?
It's very hard to trust her now. She may end up with that anytime now. A song suddenly plays in my mind..
I see you driving round town with the girl I love and I'm like, "FUCK YOU!".
-Not wow-Not Final-
-0.7 to Final-
Thursday 6 February 2014
-Song-Myself-Not Final-
Don't you say you're sorry.
I cannot go on with such an answer.
Although I would like to go with the way you want.
Don't you say you are with him.
That would only make me still live in darkness.
So please do help me before you become his.
It's been the same way the same way through.
My life is alone and no one wants to help me.
Don't tell me this is, something I must be.
I've been trying and trying to.
But I can't,since no-one wants to help me.
From this world of loneliness, that I'm in.
Ooooh
Why don't just be mine?
You won't lose anyone.
Stop worry and be with me.
And I'll prove happiness.
What if we can't be together at all?
And you may lose your friend.
Without you my life stay, and life by....by myself.
-Myself-